


The Archivist's Choice

by RogueVigilante



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Suicide, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24198835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueVigilante/pseuds/RogueVigilante
Summary: What if Eric Keay had done a little more research? What if he'd found out that when an Archivist dies, the assistants can quit. What if Jonathan Sims, alone in the Archives decided that this was what was best for the people he'd gotten trapped in there?And what if Martin found out way too late?
Comments: 5
Kudos: 109





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Martin knows something has changed is when an odd sensation had washes over him. He is sitting in front of a computer, typing steadily at some small task, when it hits happens. It was like he had been wearing a heavy cloak, only to have it suddenly drop it to the floor, a feeling of lightness now resting on his shoulders. It felt like taking in a breath of air after being stuck in the tunnels for far too long. Martin could almost imagine that it was The Eye turning its gaze elsewhere. But that is impossible in this place. Pausing, he half expects to hear the whirring of a tape recorder in that silence. Only there is nothing. No hint, no sound, no mysteriously appearing Peter Lucas. Nothing that could have triggered this feeling. Sighing, he turns back to his work.

The second time Martin knows something has changed with a knock at his door. It’s Daisy, holding two sheets of paper, although Martin spies a sticky note stuck to the top one.

“Daisy. Is there anything I can do?” Martin asks politely, not wanting her to stay.

“The others wanted me to give you these,” she responds, resting the papers down on the desk in front of Martin. “They’ve already left.”

He instantly recognises them. They’re resignation letters. Daisy’s is on the top, nothing more than a few neat sentences, a post-it-note stuck in the middle of the text with ‘I Quit – Melanie King’ scrawled on it. He guesses that Basira’s must be the paper on the bottom then. Martin stares at the sheets of paper, his mind dangerously close to blanking out on him. An Archival Assistant quitting the Magnus Institute is impossible. Elias had made that very clear, and Tim had experienced the consequences firsthand when he tried to take an extended vacation. Yet somehow this is happening, and everyone is quitting.

Martin wonders if this is another attempt to leave the Institute. But all three of them leaving at the same time seemed to suspicious. On top of that, Martin remembers the feeling from earlier. Did it have something to do with that? He’d assumed it was only him, nothing more than a trick of the mind or the influence of the Lonely, but did the others feel it too? Maybe they were trying to sneak away while the gaze of The Eye seems weaker upon them. Maybe Jon was doing something to draw its gaze.

Martin sputters out a few nonsense sounds, trying to make sense of it all.

“Jon didn’t tell you, did he?” Daisy finally says before Martin can ask what is actually going on.

“I haven’t talked to Jon in a while,” Martin responds, his voice falling into a familiar monotone.

Tell him what? Not for the first time Martin finds himself hoping that Jon’s not done anything without thinking it through first. Not done anything reckless and stupid like a repeat of the Coffin. That he talked to the others before he’s gone off and done whatever this is. He still misses talking to Jon, those quiet moments with a cup of tea in the break room. At least, he hopes he does, although his connection to the Lonely made him realise a while ago that it was easier not speaking to anyone anymore.

“Jon found a way to let us leave,” she says.

“You’re kidding,” Martin responds, the facade dropping slightly as he stares at Daisy. “But…”

He stutters into silence, looking at her in shock. This is impossible. This is fantastic.

“Yup. I don’t exactly know what he did though, just that we can now leave. So, we’re all quitting, and you should too.”

For a moment he wants to. To grab a piece of paper and write the same note that Melanie did and get out of the Institute. To go far away and never look back. But then there’s Jon, and despite everything that this place is, Martin doesn’t think he can leave without him. Not without knowing that he’s safe. Not even the Lonely could take that from him.

“What about Jon?”

“I don’t know,” she responds “I haven’t seen him since this morning. But he wants you to know that he doesn’t know how long this opportunity will last and you should leave now.”

She'd misunderstood the question.

“Is he leaving too?”

Daisy doesn’t say anything, and she doesn’t have to. Whatever Jon did, he doesn’t affect him, and he’s still trapped here. Martin stares to the papers in front of him, mind slowly coming to one of the hardest decisions he’d ever made. He could leave, be free of this mess and this fear. Be free of this job that he hated and was slowly eroding him into nothingness. But it would mean leaving Jon to the mercy of Peter Lucas’s plans. Martin didn’t know what he is planning, but he knows that Peter’s manipulation of him is leading up to something big. That the end is coming soon. If it meant protecting Jon, he would stay. He must see this through.

Daisy doesn’t say anything, waiting for Martin to speak first. When he doesn’t, she slowly reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small tape. Martin looks at her as she puts it on the top of the two pieces of paper. She doesn’t need to say anything as looks at him, realising in that moment that Martin intends to stay. For Jon. She smiles softly at him as she steps back towards the door.

“It’s from Jon for you. Just come see us when he comes back. I’m worried for him.”

Martin nods, looking between the tape and Daisy. Without saying anything else, she turns and leaves Martin alone in his office. The paper and post-it-note lie heavy on his desk, the implication of what is happening finally setting in as the shock wearing away into worry. What had Jon done and why did Martin suddenly feel afraid of this singular tape?

Shaking slightly, Martin reaches into his draw to pull out the tape recorder that is occasionally there. It still is. Loading the tape, he hits play. There is a familiar click and the tape begins rolling, Jon’s voice filling the empty space. There’s a tone to it, one Martin doesn’t quite place. But it’s not the joy of someone who realises that they can escape the Magnus Institute.

_Martin. I found a way out of the Institute. One of Gertrude’s old assistants figured it out, and she managed to record it on tape. Well, two ways to be exact, and they’re both pretty serious. You can sever your own connection to the Eye by, well… blinding yourself…_

“Shit,” Martin interrupts, staring at the tape.

_But there’s another way. One that requires the Archivist to… *sigh*. Once that's done, the assistants can leave. It's pretty drastic, but after Melanie, after what I’ve done to them all, it’s worth it. Everyone will only have one shot to leave though. After all, this is only something I can do once._

_*chuckle*_

_I wanted to talk to you about this, but I know you’d try and stop me. When I first listened to that tape, I imagined running into your office and convincing you that we could run away together. Then I realised that you’d talk me out of it, and I’d listen. And that it wouldn’t help the others trapped here because of me. I don’t know about Daisy and Basira, but even without Knowing, I think Melanie would blind herself. At least this way they all get out intact. Mostly intact._

_So, I’m going ahead with this, and I want you to leave with them. Please Martin. For me. Please. And well, I… I… I’m sorry._

The tape clicks over and the recording ends. Martin just sits there in horror and sadness, thoughts tumbling through his head. What did Jon do to himself? Is he okay? Did he even think this over first? Christ, what was he thinking? Permanently damaging your own eyes seems like an extreme option, and yet the way Jon spoke made it seem like the lesser option. This didn’t do anything to stop the rising panic about Jon’s safety and current condition. He could imagine him, lying and bleeding in some unknown corner of the Archives, the tunnels, anywhere. Maybe he was trapped. Maybe he was… no, Martin doesn’t let himself think that far.

Taking a deep breath, Martin tries to steady himself. It doesn’t work very well, his hands shaking as he rewinds the tape and plays it again. Jon’s voice speaks out again into the room, his message replaying to Martin with a strange sense of unease. It’s the tone of his voice that sets him on edge. There’s a sense of finality and acceptance to it.

What did Jon do?

There was only one way to find out. Whatever tape Jon had listened to would still be in the now abandoned archives. Rising, he heads down the stairs and towards it in a slow motion, almost as if he doesn’t want to reach the destination. The Institute around him is empty, the long corridors stretching like that of The Spiral’s. Small wisps of fog rise from the corners, unnoticed by Martin as he passes slowly towards his goal. He wants, needs to know that Jon’s okay and safe. So why does he feel such dread?

Approaching the Archives and Jon’s office, Martin pushes open the door and walks inside. As he suspected, it’s abandoned. A messy pile of statements sits under a cold mug of half-drunk tea next to a jar of former Jane Prentiss ash. There are boxes everywhere in the room, a cot pushed into the corner and a sweater resting over the back of the chair. It looks like Jon had just stepped out for a smoke break, not that he’d done something significant, and most likely reckless and dangerous. Opening the draws, Martin finds the standard random assortment of junk including too many pens, tapes, tape recorders, that web lighter, old folded statements, a bone, and an old photograph from Jon’s band days.

Pulling out the box of tapes, Martin prepares to listen to them all, searching for answers about what Jon heard. Then he realises that that is unnecessary as whatever Jon listened too is probably still in whatever tape recorder he used. Still, with over two dozen tape recorders hidden in those too small draws, it takes him a while to find the right one as he listens to the beginning of each statement. When he finds Gertrude and Eric, he knows this is it. Shaking with worry and not caring if anyone walks in, Martin listens to them speak. It takes a while to get to the part Martin actually cares about. He could have fast forwarded, but he didn’t want to miss a single important detail.

_“So, how did you do it. How did you quit the Archives?”_

_“Well, it was actually quite simple. Not easy, but simple *heh*. You’ll kick yourself when I tell you.”_

_“O…kay…”_

_“You were almost there, you know, with your theory that James could watch us from any eye, even an illustration. What did you do? How did you sever the link?”_

_“My god!”_

Despite knowing that this is coming, hearing the revelation again on tape still shocks him. That someone would blind themselves to escape this place. He could understand it, but it was still madness. Even if Jon had mentioned Melanie would have taken the option, Martin didn’t quite believe him. But this would have been where Jon had heard about the blinding, so, what was the other option? The tape continues.

_“Yeah. Well, *exhale* I’d rather do some research on my own, before I take the rather extreme step of blinding myself.”_

_“It’s the only way. Trust me, I tried them all after I realised I didn’t stand a chance taking you out.”_

_“Why would you do that?”_

_“If the Archivist dies, the assistants can quit. It’s happened a few times before and is all on record. I’m surprised James never buried that information deeper, or that you never found it.”_

The tape falls to the ground, its contents scattering across the floor with a loud clatter. Martin takes a shaky breath, that single phrase spiralling his world out of control around him.

‘If the Archivist dies, the assistants can quit.”

That means… If Daisy and Basira and Melanie all handed in their resignation letters today, then Jon must be… No, Jon couldn’t be dead. Not again. Collapsing to his knees in front of the chair, Martin lets the tears roll down his face. Large and wet, the splatter onto the slightly dusty floor of the Archives. He didn’t want to believe it, but in his heart, he knew it was true. All he had to do was look at his own internal connection to the Eye was weakening. Had been weakening ever since this lunchtime. That must have been when Jon… Why? Why did he have to do that?

Martin already knew the answer to that question.

Around him, the fog beckons in thick rolling waves, dampening the rising and painful grief to nothing more than a light weight. A familiar comfort and a choice, and this one was an easy one. Standing up and looking around, Martin takes one last glance of all that remains of Jonathan Sims. Tears still falling, he reaches out and strokes the sweater vest. The last relic of Jonathan Sims.

“Goodbye Jon. I will always love you.”

With that, Martin steps back from the Eye, quitting the Institute without a letter, and lets the Lonely take him forever. At least it didn’t hurt there.


	2. Statement 0182208

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Statement of Jonathan Sims, regarding a reflection on his choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend to write a second chapter, it just accidentally happened

_*click*_

_Statement of Jonathan Sims, regarding a reflection on his choices. Statement recorded direct from subject August 22 nd, 2018._

_Statement begins._

_*small sigh*_

_Where do I start? I guess I should start at the beginning, but I can’t tell what that is anymore._

_Is it before I ever encountered one of the Entities? Or is it when I started working as a researcher for The Magnus Institute? I could start with accepting my promotion to Head Archivist, or my decision to research into the death of Gertrude Robinson. They both put me on this path. I decided to chase the statements after I left the Magnus Institute, decided to meet with the other Avatars, decided to become an Avatar myself. Is that too late to start though? Was I even a proper Avatar then, or was the beginning when I awoke from that coma?_

_I guess the beginning doesn’t matter anymore, not at the end. Looking back, all I can see are choices leading me to this single moment. It’s hard to find a single definitive choice, for it’s nothing more than a multitude of little ones. I don’t know if that makes it better or not. I could have chosen to turn away at any moment, but I didn’t until it was too late. I chose to become The Archivist, even if I didn’t see it until it had happened. The thing is, sometimes I think I don’t mind what I’ve become. I almost enjoy it. Then I see what the others see me as, the humanity I’ve lost, and suddenly I’m ashamed of everything. Ashamed of the choices I’ve made, and the people who I hurt and trapped along the way._

_I guess that’s a good a point to start than any. They’re why I’m here._

_Tim, Sasha, and Martin. It was just those three in the beginning._

_Sasha was already an assistant when I started. When she died, I didn’t even know. She was replaced by The Stranger, leaving behind nothing but her voice in the background of a few statements. Even with my abilities, I still can’t recall what she looked like. It feels like a lifetime ago. I want to believe that I could have done nothing about it, but I don't know if it's true._

_I asked Tim to join me in the Archives. He was my friend and a good friend of Sasha, and it would have been nice to have a familiar face in the Archives. But if I’d never asked, then he’d never have come. Everything that happened to him is my fault, and I pushed him away before everything changed. If I hadn't been so paranoid, so distrustful, would things between us have been different? I don’t blame him for hating me, not after everything that happened. He’s dead now._

_I chose to involve Detective Barisa while I was investigating Gertrude’s death. I chose the confront Elias about it, getting her and Daisy trapped within the Institute. Barisa doesn’t trust me much anymore, not after she’d realised what I’d become. Daisy’s trying to ignore the call of the Hunt, to hold onto who she is. She’s doing a better job than me. It doesn’t change their situation though. Trapped together in the Institute._

_I wasn’t there when Melanie joined. But if I hadn’t left Leitner alone then Elias wouldn’t have had a chance to kill him and maybe she would have avoided all this. But I do know that it was my fault that I was away for so long after the Unknowing, and that they all got hurt in that time. They were attacked, forced to live within the Archives for safety. Everything she went through from Elias and because of me and how it scarred her. I know that if I told her about how there’s a way out by blinding yourself, she’d take it. Hopefully, this way, she doesn’t have to. Although if it all goes wrong, I did leave Martin a tape explaining most of it._

_Martin. Out of all of them, he’s the one who’s suffered the worst. Suffered because of me. I…_

_*slow breath out*_

_He’s left the Archives and is working for Peter Lucas now. I don’t know if that’s better or worse, but I chose to trust that he knows what he’s doing. We don’t really talk anymore, but he still leaves me tapes and it's nice to hear his voice every now and again. If I were there though instead of unconscious in the hospital, would he have chosen differently? Would he still be in the Archives? I miss him. It took me too long to realise what…_

_That’s my main regret, and now it’s too late to say anything._

_They all went through so much pain and fear because of me, because of the Institute and Elias. But when the Archivist dies, the assistants are all offered a chance to leave the Institute. If I die, then they all can get out. They can all be free of this without losing their eyes. All the world loses is another monster._

_However, I did decide to not tell them of that small fact, just to say that I’ve possibly found a way to let them all quit. It’s better on them if they don’t know the truth, and honestly, I don’t know how most of them will react if they knew. Would they try to stop me or would I wake up with a knife in the back. I don't think I want that answer. Martin would stop me though, and I think that he would figure it out if I'd mentioned anything to him. So, I haven’t told him. Daisy should pass on the message and the tape I’ve left him once all this is done._

_About this. I’ve chosen one of the other Avatars, Jude Perry of the Desolation. We’ve met before and she wasn’t too hard to track down again. I also know that she’s one of the few Avatars that won’t leave me trapped forever in some fear landscape. Right now, I’m standing about two doors down from where she currently resides and once I’ve finished this statement I’m going to talk to her._

_Looking back, I never really knew what my choices would lead too. Yes, I still made the choices, still got people I choose to care about hurt and killed, but I don’t think I ever knew exactly what it meant. This time I do. It’s almost a strange feeling, knowing exactly where my future will lead and what consequence this choice will have. But I’m making it for them, for Melanie and Daisy and Barisa. For Martin. I don’t know what will happen afterwards, but I do know that they’ll be safe. That they’ll get a chance to leave. I hope Mar… they all choose to take it._

_Statement ends._

_*sigh*_

_*footsteps walking along slightly crunching ground*_

_*a tape player being placed on a surface*_

_*more footsteps*_

_*muffled talking, two people, one male and one female, too far away to make out clearly*_

_*a short laugh*_

_*more talking*_

_*silence*_

_*screaming*_

_*click*_

**Author's Note:**

> As you can guess, this was inspired from that wonderful little ending of episode 157. Thanks for reading and I hoped you enjoyed it :)
> 
> Oh, and in case you're wondering happened to Jon, you might want to ask Jude Perry. Although I believe the Eye did record it on tape. 
> 
> Elias was not impressed.


End file.
